This reminds me of Brené Brown's research on vulnerability - that showing our imperfections actually makes us more magnetic, not less. But there's a fine line between authentic sharing and oversharing. Deciding what that line is can get tricky!
Good morning, sis. That’s a good point on how much to share. I think if the mistakes can be shared and positioned in a way that helps the reader know what to avoid, it’s useful. But if the writer is trying to position the mistakes as a way to draw sympathy, it can definitely backfire. I always default to ‘is this going to help the reader’? Thank you for always keeping me grounded!
Exactly Neela! I think this is what most of my writing is a based on! People want to see how we overcome our struggles. Even when we are in the middle. It makes them feel seen.
Love this, Mack. The highlight reels always feel a bit too far from reality. I'd trust the people who share the setbacks in real time way more than the ones selling the over-polished version.
I agree but it's so hard to be objective in the moment without the benefit of hindsight. It could be easy to overdramatise or underestimate. Any tips for that?
Lisa you always ask great questions! One thing I do whenever I share a setback is I explain what my plan is for dealing with that setback. It helps me stay grounded and not overblow the mistake or setback, and be realistic about outcomes. Plus by having a plan, it shows others the best way to deal with a setback. Hopefully!
Solid advice, Mack. I also like to look back every now and then to observe patterns and the bigger picture. Sometimes those setbacks are actually positive!
If there's anything I e learned to not skip in my stories and sales effort, it's the whole side of the story. Like I'm working with 2 clients but I failed my first 3 and here's what I learned. No glossing over the reels
Well you know anything on the subject of trust is going to pique my interest Mack! I really love this take and reminder. We’re often told to share from the scar, and not the wound - to share only after we’ve healed and understood the lessons.
I think what the reminder here is that facing set backs and challenges are not ‘wounds’ to hide, but learning opportunities. I think the problem is we’re made to feel they are things we should be ashamed of and not mention. Rather than openly admitting they’re part of the natural process.
Vulnerability is customer especially on Substack is considered fleeting. Alot for writers here are aggressively selling courses and live sessions. It's works for them. But I've always believed thares a little bit of lie in all of that, but it's not my place to tell.
Your research and expertise is insanely good Mack and I appreciate all this. There should be truth in what we do.
Thank you, Ral! Besides…what better way to convince someone that you can help them overcome their mistakes, than by showing how you overcame those same mistakes yourself?
This is so encouraging and uplifting somehow, like you can be you and it is welcome! For someone like me who has a parallel and maybe dominant role in another field I worry when I share because I don’t know who (who knows me offline) is reading and how might this get manipulated
Very interesting thoughts, Dr! Being open can be concerning for anyone who has a presence in multiple communities. An unfortunate byproduct of building awareness is that eventually your success will draw criticism. It’s actually a sign of growth and that your ideas are pushing outside your core circle of friends and peers. Still, being open and honest can be worrisome when some may try to use that against you for their own perceived benefit. So your concerns are valid in this regard.
"If you are telling your story, tell the whole story. Warts and all. Sharing the bad with the good doesn’t make you less credible, it makes you more trustworthy."
I don't even know how it will end, but no one talks about the struggle when they are in the middle of it. And that is something that I try to do each step of the way.
Thank you, Stephen. I agree, there’s a lot of very formulaic replies among that crowd. Which is another reason why it helps to share a few flaws, helps you stand out from the ones that are trying to sell perfection.
This reminds me of Brené Brown's research on vulnerability - that showing our imperfections actually makes us more magnetic, not less. But there's a fine line between authentic sharing and oversharing. Deciding what that line is can get tricky!
Happy Thursday, bro..
Good morning, sis. That’s a good point on how much to share. I think if the mistakes can be shared and positioned in a way that helps the reader know what to avoid, it’s useful. But if the writer is trying to position the mistakes as a way to draw sympathy, it can definitely backfire. I always default to ‘is this going to help the reader’? Thank you for always keeping me grounded!
And the audience is clever enough to know the difference.
That's why those "sympathy" type posts ultimately end up on LinkedIn Lunatics lol
Exactly Neela! I think this is what most of my writing is a based on! People want to see how we overcome our struggles. Even when we are in the middle. It makes them feel seen.
“It makes them feel seen”. Highly underrated point!
"If you are telling your story, tell the whole story. Warts and all." YES, Mack! Right on!
Thanks Chason, let the chips fall where they may!
Love this, Mack. The highlight reels always feel a bit too far from reality. I'd trust the people who share the setbacks in real time way more than the ones selling the over-polished version.
Thank you Shellie! I agree completely, too much polish loses credibility in my eyes. Thanks for stopping by ☺️
There’s value in truth and vulnerability. Because that’s how relate to human kindred.
Exactly! It’s all about being relatable.
I agree but it's so hard to be objective in the moment without the benefit of hindsight. It could be easy to overdramatise or underestimate. Any tips for that?
Lisa you always ask great questions! One thing I do whenever I share a setback is I explain what my plan is for dealing with that setback. It helps me stay grounded and not overblow the mistake or setback, and be realistic about outcomes. Plus by having a plan, it shows others the best way to deal with a setback. Hopefully!
Solid advice, Mack. I also like to look back every now and then to observe patterns and the bigger picture. Sometimes those setbacks are actually positive!
If there's anything I e learned to not skip in my stories and sales effort, it's the whole side of the story. Like I'm working with 2 clients but I failed my first 3 and here's what I learned. No glossing over the reels
Well you know anything on the subject of trust is going to pique my interest Mack! I really love this take and reminder. We’re often told to share from the scar, and not the wound - to share only after we’ve healed and understood the lessons.
I think what the reminder here is that facing set backs and challenges are not ‘wounds’ to hide, but learning opportunities. I think the problem is we’re made to feel they are things we should be ashamed of and not mention. Rather than openly admitting they’re part of the natural process.
Yes Vicky, I agree with all of this! Thank you for sharing, good to see you again!
Vulnerability is customer especially on Substack is considered fleeting. Alot for writers here are aggressively selling courses and live sessions. It's works for them. But I've always believed thares a little bit of lie in all of that, but it's not my place to tell.
Your research and expertise is insanely good Mack and I appreciate all this. There should be truth in what we do.
Thank you, Ral! Besides…what better way to convince someone that you can help them overcome their mistakes, than by showing how you overcame those same mistakes yourself?
This is so encouraging and uplifting somehow, like you can be you and it is welcome! For someone like me who has a parallel and maybe dominant role in another field I worry when I share because I don’t know who (who knows me offline) is reading and how might this get manipulated
Very interesting thoughts, Dr! Being open can be concerning for anyone who has a presence in multiple communities. An unfortunate byproduct of building awareness is that eventually your success will draw criticism. It’s actually a sign of growth and that your ideas are pushing outside your core circle of friends and peers. Still, being open and honest can be worrisome when some may try to use that against you for their own perceived benefit. So your concerns are valid in this regard.
Love this Mack and it’s such an important reminder ✨
Thank you Hege 🙏🏻
"If you are telling your story, tell the whole story. Warts and all. Sharing the bad with the good doesn’t make you less credible, it makes you more trustworthy."
I think this is so important. It is why I have written stories like this one: https://dinahbeingme.substack.com/p/what-do-you-say-becomes-of-us-after
I don't even know how it will end, but no one talks about the struggle when they are in the middle of it. And that is something that I try to do each step of the way.
Great story Mack! Thanks for sharing.
Most "experts" read the same way, with the same steps, which is why I do not follow many of them.
I do follow a few of them and read some others, but only when I am interested in the subject.
Nice post Mack
Thank you, Stephen. I agree, there’s a lot of very formulaic replies among that crowd. Which is another reason why it helps to share a few flaws, helps you stand out from the ones that are trying to sell perfection.